I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
