Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
