does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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