i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
