Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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