lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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