you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
