I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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