In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
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