i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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