The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
