This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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