There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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