This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize