Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
