Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
