you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
