lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
