she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
