dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
