At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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