the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Cover your peen. We're going out.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
