Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
