I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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