there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Pooping to opera.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
