U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
