My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize