it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Let's paint friendship bongs
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
you made out with another girl for some wings
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize
