I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
