Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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