the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
