every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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