Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
