is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
It was like getting head from an anaconda
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
