I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
