Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Terrible idea I love it
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
