I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
