I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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