im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
