YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
