i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
