Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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