a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize