He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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