I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
