I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
