At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
