Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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