Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
