Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
