girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
