He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
