Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Too much gin, very little bucket
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
