it's not cheating when I paid for it
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
