...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
