whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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