You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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