Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize