well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
