and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
