you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
