I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
