Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
